Trust. Consider when hearing this word the emotion it evokes. Notice whether it is positive, warm and beautiful or if it pertains to past, painful events, doubt, fear and disbelief in the word. 

While it would be nice if this one word always provided a feeling of safety and contentment, but more rare than it should be. 

Trust is linked closely to love and respect. When trust goes in a relationship, irrelevant of the type of relationship - be it romantic, familial or professional, it takes a lot to restore, if ever at all, because it also compromises any love or respect. 

The brain will automatically see this as a threat, particularly when trust has been broken before and in some cases cause the person to want to exit the situation. Commonly know as fight/flight reaction because broken trust in the unconscious mind has been defined as danger.

Happy Coffee

There are different levels of trust. There is the trust that when ordering food it will arrive. There is the trust that in a job a salary will be paid on time and equally the hours of work will be undertaken. This is defined as surface trust. It is the first level of trust. It is the most common and necessary for transactions to occur. Rarely is this trust ever questioned, doubted or have a serious adverse reaction.

Then the next level of trust is  bit deeper and requires more emotional investment. This trust is believing a promise, if someone will keep their word or provide support in situations - "have your back" as it were.

Happy Couple

This version of trust is a stepping stone to a much more open and vulnerable trust. This is the version of trust that when broken hurts and often cannot be restored. 

If the second version of trust is broken, compromised or betrayed, it will undoubtedly not make it to the third, for obvious reasons. 

The second version then reverts back close to the first and only over time and proof, evidence of honourable behaviour, will the second version be contemplated.

Now, this is all good and well in theory. However, if only it was this simple. 

In real life, it is not perfect or exact. Trust can be given too easily, too quickly in an attempt to create stability and safety, which bypass the signs and red flags of a situation. 

Trust as an emotion is complex, layered and challenging. But that does not mean it should always be at the expense of the person that trusts.

The easiest in the messiness of life is to always be honest and open to the inner voice of the emotions felt in every situation that does not seem right.

by Hally Rhiannon-Nammu

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