From 50 Shades of Grey through to activating the kundalini, there is a huge misunderstanding about sex. There is surplus on pornography and what sex is "supposed" to be and yet, the issues that commonly exist would suggest that even with the marketing, the saturation of sexual content and the belief of sexual freedom - all of this is still a way off.
Whether it is because no one is asking questions, there are too many experts that are not or what is popular taking precedence over fact - it may be related or it may be simply that while we think we know our bodies, our wants, needs and what will satisfy us, is a lie that has been told over and over again to the point that it has now become a belief.
LIke it or not sex starts with the individual, not the soul mate you're dreaming about. If you are not comfortable with you, your sexuality, your body (in a sexual context) then how likely is it to have fulfilling sex with a desired partner?
Nine out of ten issues around sex are emotional and psychological. This is relevant to both females and males which means that most are missing out.
Understanding sex to you has become paramount now given the quick fix mentality, or the swipe right, or left, which leaves a lot to be desired as this omits the very thing that is craved - a connection. Yet, the irony is that without having some vague form of connection to yourself, all that will be found will be lack luster and nothing more than a few fruitless dates.
So - what's the answer?
Be honest about what you like and don't like. Be honest about how you feel about sex personally and whether there are things you would prefer over things that you do.
Be truthful to yourself about where you are in your journey. No one is destined to be alone however, the more you put barriers up around sex the harder it will be to find a partner that feels right.
The truth is it is okay to be yourself, and isn't it time that you were okay with it too?